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Both of my parents died in the past few years, and it has been a challenge that has driven a rift between me and my siblings.
Growing up, I was always considered the favorite child of my mother and father’s four children. At times, my three sisters accused me of jealousy and resentment, and as a result, it became a harrowing experience in my early years.
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My father was a family physician, and my mother was a retired kindergarten teacher. Based on the stories I’d heard from my sisters, our father wasn’t much before I was born, but by the time I came along he had spent enough of his work hours and time to actually spend raising me with my mother. reduced effect.
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In a turn of unfortunate events, my mother became ill with early-onset dementia and my father was only working two days a week at his practice so that he could be at home with her. My two siblings, the middle one, live outside the country but my oldest sister and I live a short distance from our parents’ house.
My father asked my eldest sister to come over to cook, clean the house and have a good time with our mother, but she always had an excuse. The responsibility of taking care of our mother was left to me only. My other two siblings only sent money in exchange for their actual physical presence. He lives in the UK with our extended family.
My oldest sister who lives here is married with 10- and 12-year-old daughters, and whenever our dad came over to do something, he was very tired. Their reasoning was that I was single without children and was able to devote myself 100 percent to mom and dad in their time of need. I didn’t mind my parents being there to assist, but I feel it should have been a joint effort shared with my older sister.
I cooked dinner for my folks every Sunday, came over to check-in in the evening, and took time off work to take Mom to her appointments. Dad and I really had time to bond, and I’m grateful I had the opportunity to step in and help. Unfortunately, I inadvertently neglected my own health and well-being. I wasn’t eating or exercising properly, and my mental health had declined. I prepared for the worst, and the worst inevitably came when my mother passed away.
When she passed, you would have thought her funeral was some sort of runway fashion show. My sisters from out of country and my eldest children and their children were dressed in little clothes. Everything looked straight out of vogue while I looked tattered and run down. It set me up. In the evening after the funeral, I went out with my sister. She assured me that with only one parent alive, she was going to do better and would show up with her chicks to help out with Dad.
We were all devastated by this loss, but our father had lost his best friend. My parents were married for 42 years and were everything to each other. It didn’t take long before he slipped into a poor state of health and mental health. However, my eldest sister did not keep her promise. I was still devoting my waking hours to my last parent.
Dealing with our father was extremely difficult. I had to move to my parents’ house so that I could be close to them. I didn’t have time for myself or my needs. I reduced my work hours to part-time so I could be around to care for her, and my love life was non-existent. Also with COVID-19 I had to be extra careful, and I couldn’t socialize. On the other hand, if I was at work, my sister wouldn’t be with my dad either, and not even when I needed to step away for an hour to do something for myself. I had to take the services of a home health aide to assist her.
My sister actually had the courage to leave her girls for a three day weekend during all of this so she and her husband could take a couples vacation. I was furious, and he didn’t understand why. It blows my mind how selfish and inconsiderate she can be.
Our dad died a year and a half after our mom, and that’s when things turned ugly. We received separate cash inheritances, but in addition, I was gifted a house and two cars for the family. My sisters are irritable, especially my eldest sister. She is constantly nagging me to sign over the house as she believes that I don’t need it as a single woman and she, her two kids and her husband can make more use of it.
When I look back, I remember all the good times I had with my eldest sister. She would braid my hair, take me to school, keep me away from bullies, and generally take care of me. However, the last four years have been difficult and difficult, and I am still processing the loss of both parents which is challenging.
What should I do – should I take my stand or sign over the house to my sister or any other family member I have lost?
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Source: atlantablackstar.com
